I was watching Dr. Phil last week and the show’s topic was on emotional infidelity. The lady on the show was married, but regularly flirted with other men, including her husband’s friends. She thought there was nothing wrong with fantasizing about other men or being flirtatious. Her husband developed feelings of insecurity because of her behavior and their marriage was suffering.
Those of us in relationships, whether it is a marriage or an exclusive dating relationship, have to be very careful. Emotional infidelity can sneak up on you. It often starts with a harmless thought, such as, “Oh my goodness that man is fine!!!” But later, your thoughts can progress to, “I would love to get to know him better.” Then you find yourself looking for opportunities to interact with him. Before you know it, you are emotionally involved. Military spouses have to be especially careful with this, due to frequent separations by way of Uncle Sam.
Matthew 5:27-28 in the Message Bible says this:
You know the next commandment pretty well, too: ‘Don’t go to bed with another’s spouse.’ But don’t think you’ve preserved your virtue simply by staying out of bed. Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than your body. Those leering looks you think nobody notices—they also corrupt.
Now don’t get me wrong. Naturally, we like to admire God’s handiwork. God is the ultimate creator. For some people, it seems like he took an extra bit of time and effort to craft them as his masterpiece. However, if you are in a committed relationship with someone, it’s best to channel your energy into your mate, versus lusting and thinking about someone else.
We have to guard our thought life. The Message Bible gives us directions on how to guard our thought life in Philippians 4:8:
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
If I see a man that I think is handsome, I have trained myself to think, “Yeah, he looks good, but not as good as my husband!” Immediately, I start thinking about my husband and how God blessed me with the best husband in the world.
Think about this too. Looks aren’t the only thing that makes a person attractive. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Take time to guard your thought life and the heart of the one who loves you.